I’ve been tracking some fairly interesting relationship/communication teachings and while on the surface this may not seem overtly spiritual I think its amazing how God has designed the different aspects of male and female to coexist and function together.
I think we are headed to a very prophetic season where knowing these differences can help us navigate a better result in our church culture, we must make women more powerful in our models because without them we will never experience the fullness of being the Bride of Christ which is the ultimate expression of the church in the earth.
If you know me you know I have 4 incredibly beautiful and powerful daughters, here are the amazing lessons I have learned from my girls:
- Sometimes emotions are simply that, strong feelings that do not need to be analyzed, a big part of life is “feeling” without it our experience is incomplete…as a Dad, I’ve had to set aside my desire to understand with my head and learned to do it with my heart.
- Adventure is essential to growing in yourself, sometimes its simply a challenge, but its about discovering who you really are…without a bit of risk life is boring, every one of my girls has sought out some form of adventure and it has made them powerful.
- Men should never be passive, sometimes making the decision for my girls has been more about creating a comfortable zone for them to live in than it is anything else, some decisions allow a woman to be herself in a safe place without controlling her, this does not make sense to anyone but women.
- A surprise is a subtle way to keep life from getting dull and mundane, surprises should be included in every relationship that matters…it should look spontaneous, but feel thought out.
- The small details give the big details meaning, remembering to order “non-fat” instead of “low-fat” Frappe-chino’s may seem insignificant but its not. Its the small details that reveal how much you really know about others, or at minimum how much you really want to know about them. The small details are another way of saying “I love you and thought about you enough to write a poem…”
- My girls were always their own worse critics, they found it very easy to pick apart their own shortcomings, at that moment, a specific and non-general compliment can provide the essential restoration of esteem and validation that self-inflicted head noise has destroyed.
- The purpose of listening is to hear, not to talk, hearing is not simply about the words, most of the time content is secondary to emotion and non-verbal communication, hearing means I connect with what you are feeling, not simply what words you used.
- A healthy man initiates, and healthy women respond by setting up obstacles and hoops for men to jump through, not sure why this is but it is. As strange as this behavior may appear it is actually the essence of a dynamic and normal Adam/Eve connection.
- Love at first sight and getting swept away are not simply childhood dreams, they are a longing in the heart of healthy “Eve’s” and while it sounds like a misnomer, they are events that should be possible at any moment once “Adam” truly wakes up to what God has created…every woman I know still believes in these things to some degree.
- We are only fully human as men and women when we value and love others.
- All relationships experience ebb and flow, high tide/low tide, hiddenness/manifestation, failure to understand this makes us crazy.
- Love makes you want to change yourself, not the other person.
- Every woman wants to be both powerful and vulnerable, this dynamic in my estimation makes women the most incredible aspect of Gods creation, because in truth every woman is both of these…men…not so much. As a Dad I’ve learned that I do not lose power by giving it to my girls, I increase it.
- Submission does not mean that one of the parties involved disappears or goes silent, it means that everyone comes to the table with everything they are and a voice to declare it. True biblical submission is always given freely and never demanded… anytime submission is demanded it cannot show up, compliance will show up instead. The heart (where submission comes from) cannot be forced or controlled, you cannot make another person love.
- True beauty is a condition of the heart.
I think its amazing the differences between the male and the female, it makes me realize how majestic God really is and how romantic Jesus longs to be…it cannot be possible that the Creator of Love would be less romantic than His creation…think about it and rejoice that you get to be His girlfriend!