Fat like Heaven


Inner Tubes

So after I turned 50 I got one of those inner tubes around my waist that most men get, my friends all had one and basically told me it was life, learn to live with it.

I would have except it was contrary to all of my desires and experiences…see I have always been “thin”…and I had tried for years to add some weight to “bulk up” and it was a fruitless battle…until 50 and then that stubborn increase in girth around my mid way point showed up.

It made me angry…so I determined that rather than accept it I would take it on head first and change…within three months I had lost almost 30 pounds and dropped back to a pant size I felt appropriate for me, a thin person.

My approach was rather primitive…I fasted…and moved into a fasted lifestyle…but that would not be enough…I found out I loved and craved all sorts of unhealthy foods and consumed copious amounts that given a different metabolism would have made me blimp size…I also understood the grace of who I was and and struggle that others face when trying to shape body mass, it is much harder than it appears.

(Just a quick word about my health then, I was addicted to Prilosec a photon pump inhibitor because of continual severe heartburn if I missed a day I was in serious pain by 10 am, but since changing I have not had heartburn in over a year and take nothing)

So between changing my eating habits, becoming more active and maintaining a fasted lifestyle approach I have managed to stay “thin” and also increased my health, on an average day my prayer walk will be around 4 miles and that is not burdensome at all, its a high point of my day to walk and pray.


In trying to understand what goes on I picked up Gary Taubes book “Why we get fat” and I cannot recommend it high enough, it is a major paradigm shifting book on what is happening to our bodies…but reading the book had some unintended consequences…

I began to examine many other belief systems and life patterns that we naturally default to, systems of thinking we are not really aware we have…from empire building church models, to relationship fear/control/identities, to even now, some of the “conservative” political postures that are the norm in Western Evangelical Churches…

As you dig into the roots of these thought systems you end up going back to “roots” in general, Constantine, and the canonization of scripture, what is the Atonement really about, punitive or ransom, the authority of scripture and who gets to say what is ok and not, and how do we come to believe in the models we hold when it is fairly obvious that some of these are human constructs and many times NOT biblical (which should raise a whole set of questions in itself, what happens when those who claim to interpret scripture do not adhere to it?)

Who decided that the Book of Enoch and the Wisdom of Solomon were not inspired, when Jesus and the Apostles quote from both books and the early church deemed them scripture?

How did we get here?

For instance if I were to share with you that I have become a “Chief Prophet” and deserved to be paid most believers would laugh at me and ask where in scripture I get that idea…my response would be absolutely no different from that of a Senior Pastors response…”A workman is worthy of his hire, don’t muzzle the Ox, bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, etc…” and yet most people would have no problem allowing a Senior Pastor to get paid but would balk at my request, even though the phrase “Senior Pastor” has LESS scriptural references than a “Chief Prophet” does…

There is absolutely no verses where the phrase “Senior Pastor” is ever used, not once…let alone a pastor receiving a salary…but most people never question this because it is a system we have adopted without requiring reasons for its existence…

I am not for eliminating pastors salaries, many do a wonderful service and deserve compensation, but many do not, primarily because it is the nature of systems to maintain the status quo without question.


But raising questions is healthy…why should I assume that because most men my age get an inner tube around the waist I should simply accept it as my truth and live with it? And that’s the subtle power of a system, you own it without even choosing it.

The default posture would have been to do so and accept my lifestyle as “just what it is”…but in this case the normal default lifestyle was not simply wrong, it was unhealthy.

Isaiah 10 says “the yoke shall be broken because of the anointing”, but the word actually used there means “fatness” or “greasy” to smear with oil…

The idea is that we are supposed to be fat with the anointing from Heaven…which I think is much better than physically obese…


Let me take a minute here and encourage everyone (women in particular) who struggle with shaping their bodies, who struggle with body fat…I have become convinced that body fat regulation is not simply an issue of what you eat, it is a product of the fall…there are actually people who can eat healthy, starve themselves and still everything they eat goes into body fat rather than into energy displacement, the end result is they have no energy, grow physically large and are starving their muscle cells for food…they are always hungry and the enemy loves to exploit this fallen state by shaming them with a negative body image and telling them they have no self control…nothing could be further from the truth, the truth is their bodies are in rebellion to Gods design, not their hearts or their minds…

In these cases…just as in our contemporary christian culture, we have allowed systems to be erected that control us without our consent…we assume the problems are with us, our intentions, or perhaps with the rebels like “Chief Prophets” because the system defaults to blaming the wrong source, but we always have the right to question why something exists, asking questions is not wrong.

Faster please

As I write this I am completing a fast, and frankly I have not really been very hungry at all…I realize this is more a product of who I have become rather than some super duper discipline on my part…fasting has become natural to me, I know what to expect and so does my body, so in response my body does not make huge demands for food…I am NOT some super spiritual mystic who does not need food.

Instead I have replaced one kind of fat for another…and there-in lies the secret…to really change your systems requires displacement, not simply elimination of the old…without a new system in place the lure of returning to the old will over power even the best of intentions, without a system in place to displace the old system you will go back to what was comfortable and give up hope of change in the process…

This is where verses like “In hope AGAINST hope Abraham believed” because it describe the process of changing systems…and no real change can happen in the old systems… that’s why God said “Get out to a land I will show you”…if you want to see how powerful Abraham’s faith was consider how deep the change was that he endured.

I have displaced my cravings for Pringles as well as fatty foods washed down with a Coke Cola with cravings for fresh vegetables, spinach and milk…I honestly would choose a salad over McDonalds without a second thought because I have been in the process of displacement now for about 3 years. I loathe fast food now, but at one time several years ago it was just a part of my normal routine, no questions asked.

And I have been slowly replacing the system of empire with prayer walks in nature, opening portals in the Court rooms of Heaven, encountering heavenly beings in my dreams and crafted prayer combined with worship to redefine my identity rather than the systems of control and ministry labels that is the default structure of the church.

The Word has become a person, a living scroll from an ancient Mystic that is inside me and requires I become a living sacrifice for it to be opened…natural fat has begun to be replaced with the fat of being a temple where Yeshua and his Father dwells, abiding has become a process and a journey and I have been kicked out of the orphanage in the process…

No pain no gain

It is not at all painless, anymore than changing any system of life it is traumatic and requires revoking license to remain in the Matrix…there have been days when all I could do was weep at the lossyness of life, missing friends and connections and well…McDonalds Empire…

But the fat of heaven is preferred even if it is not popular…

I know friends have been warned of me…”dangerous”, “divisive” “strange beliefs and doctrines”…and usually the accusation that I am challenging godly authority…


When any system you are in refuses to allow questions, without labeling you, then that system is by definition an empire and not heavens design.

Jesus allowed all kinds of questions…

But the system refused to be questioned and ultimately it became the “crux” of the matter…who gets to own the right to question…

Fat and Free

Jesus died so we could be free.

Free to break out of systems that have enslaved us and our bodies, our thoughts and our lives…

Jesus died so you could ask questions…

I am fat with questions now…

And I feel good.

Oddly enough I still have a ways to go…my BMI index is still below “fitness” and only “acceptable”…even though I have dropped two pant sizes and lost the inner tube…

But perhaps the most powerful change i have encountered in  this is the fact that change is possible…I can be fat like heaven…I don’t have to remain the same…

This my friends should give everyone hope, if I can change, I know anyone can, but let me warn you now, it is not simply a matter of “will-power”…change is not simply about intention…it requires displacing a system that as been in place and you are already comfortable with…which means you will need to become uncomfortable…

This is where the Holy Spirit loves to participate, and it is frankly His primary assignment to lead us into all truth, the truth that Jesus owns and purchased for you, but it WILL be uncomfortable at first…

But if you are never “uncomfortable” what on earth do you need a “Comforter” for?


One final thought here needs to be added…what about those who cannot change, what about those deeply committed to the system?

Well, obviously people who recommend change will be seen as a threat to them, but I am not trying to threaten. After many years as part of certain models and lifestyles I began to question things…why did all the resources only go back to a few at the top, even when benefit was ALWAYS promised to every participant? That is the definition of empire, it describes our current ungodly banking system, our current political system and most of our churches (but not all).

When those in power cannot avoid the questions they always point out their intentions…but intentions are not capable of providing the kind of change that brings equality and freedom to everyone, those rich bankers will always say they did not intend to exploit widows and retirement funds, it just happened.

But if we are going to judge by intentions then everyone gets the same consideration…my intention for asking for change is not ungodly or selfish in the slightest, I want to see communities really changed and people set free, something the current system is failing at.

Truthfully though…intentions cannot be the measurement…if this was the standard then we have no reason to blame Fannie May or Freddie Mac or Washington for the mess our economy is in…the intentions absolve it.

So when you hear rumors of people being a heretic or being divisive or undermining godly authority take it with a grain of salt, this is the same thing all change instigators get labelled with because ANY change is a threat to the existing system, regardless of how holy its origin, there has never been a change that the system in place approved of and endorsed, think about it, if our church model is to change, someone is going to get a label in the process, so what?

These people are not wounded, bitter, or dangerous anymore than everyone else, and frankly we all are to some degree we just don’t admit it because the system does not allow it…and to be honest…people who demand change are a product of the system they are calling for change in, so blame that.

As for me, I did not volunteer for this.

I just followed Jesus into the Wilderness from one of my prayer walks…

If questions are allowed ask this: “Can the church I know change its name to ‘House of Prayer’ and remain honest?” Jesus said His Fathers house would be called that…this is just one of the questions we should be asking…because these are the things close to His heart, these are the things He as passionate about…

As usual, your mileage may vary.


One thought on “Fat like Heaven

  1. Wow, that was a mouth full (pun), love the way your head works, love the fact that your relationship is with Christ and His work on the cross – not just a system that keeps reproducing itself without knowing why. Glad I read your post today, cheers Graeme

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