2013 Birthday Blog

Ok, typically I pay very little attention to my birthdays, I am really a very shy person in my core and always have been, so making a fuss over my birthday is a bit of the anti-Mark manifesting.

But this year something has shifted, I think it was Cindy Hansen prophesying to me on facebook that got me moving into a different way of thinking and another realm sort of opened up so here goes…my birthday blog.

Many of you don’t know me except as some internet persona behind a blog, some emails and a social networking site, others have known me for 20 years or more and almost all of you have known me in some sort of church culture or kingdom quotient.

But the real me, the person that shows up consistently was probably most changed on this day exactly 48 years ago when on my birthday a portal, a door, a curtain or whatever descriptor you prefer…something opened up in my kitchen and the Son of the Living God at the right hand of the Father appeared to me,

I can see it as clearly now as the day it happened because every word of God is living and non-time-dependent.

In that encounter He said no words but the implied Presence placed a demand upon my heart and my allegiance…this was my conversion experience and as I stood before the vision, the image, the unbelievable Truth Himself, I knew a decision was mine to make and it was my heart that was the question.

Lordship is always about the heart, salvation may be about the soul, or the mind, it can be about a thousand little things on our side of the equation, but Lordship always comes down to one simple thing, our heart.

Anytime there is a question of Lordship in your life, you don’t need to be to introspective…just go to the heart and give up already…say yes, its the only answer the heart is allowed to give when Love calls.

At that childish age I did not know the things I know now, such as the inappropriate response of answering with the head when he heart has spoken…to often with both God and others we answer the sound of a heart with the mouth of a head and it is an insult to the hearer…you know the moment, when the other person has opened up their heart and been vulnerable, to rattle off some platitude or informal mental response is to wound the soul of another, even if it is God….

No even at that age I knew a glib and quick response was wrong…so I stood there for a minute and pondered the request…could He have my heart?





I answered yes…I did not ask Him “in” since he did not make that a request, He simply wanted the whole thing not just the interior decorating…

I said yes and have never, ever, not once looked back or chosen an alternate path…I have never “back-slid” or even wanted to…because He has owned my heart since that day.

That decision has determined the rest of my life…that portal has become part of my identity…in even funny and physical ways…

I recently shared with some of my close friends an anomaly that happens to me ALL the time…not just some of the time ALL the time…

If I am standing in line at a grocery store, or a movie que, or in a Starbucks, or any place really…and people must cross the line to get across…they ALWAYS do it right in front of me…no one else, always me…its like they don’t see me standing there or don’t care.

It used to really bother me…I used to say in my head “Am I freaking invisible here?”

I thought the Lord was trying to teach me patience with others, so I would adjust my attitude and try and remain friendly, but it was weird, uncanny…even as recently as last week when I went to pick up my grandson for his last day of school…a loooong line of cars before me, as well as behind me and the crosswalk long before me and as I drove, long behind me, yet ALL of the pedestrians crossed in front of my vehicle, no matter where the crosswalk was…so I park the van and start across the traffic only to find that now ALL the CARS pass in front of me and I must wait now as the pedestrian…it happens everywhere I go..so finally several months ago I had decided to find joy in it…and in the middle of it the Lord speaks and says do you know why this happens to you?

“No I said, maybe to teach me patience, kindness?”…

“No” he said…”Its because you are like me a little…” I was floored…how so?

“You like me, are a door…I am “THE” door, you are “A” door”…”these people all see an opening in the spirit and they know its a safe place to cross because you are not a wall you are a door…”

It suddenly made perfect sense, and explained why I was able to lead people into the Presence in worship…

It also explained why can connect people with His mind through some of my perspectives…in some fashion the thing that opened up to me 48 years ago has become a part of me…

So many of you have written me such nice wishes and offered deep friendship when the candle of my soul would have been blown out by brokenness, you have been a wall to me to protect me from the wind and give me a place to hang my hinges…

Many of you who are not connected to me now, because God has done some remodeling, are no less a part of me and go with me wherever I am…

There are people who I have missed so bitterly these last many months, that I have cried myself to sleep so many nights and you are first in my prayers every night in the cool of the day when I do my prayer walk…some of the people I love the deepest I am sure I have hurt the hardest but it was never my heart and I refuse to lose those covenant connections regardless of how long it takes to get them back, love never fails…we will dance again…

But Cindy is right…

A shift has happened…I am a door in a different world now…

A little over a month ago I decided my dreams to go the nations and preach, pray and just be a door needed action…in one month I will be in Cuba the first of many islands and coast-lands that God has promised me, and in this short month God has provided all the means, all the funding, all the opportunity while I sat back and was still…I did not ask for a dime, and yet the whole thing is now paid for (plus a few extra days/nights in Cancun!)…

So whats my point? And why Cuba?

Well my anointing is one of access…this is a closed island that a crack has happened to…I will go and by going a door will be created for the future as well as the present…it is who I am, not what I do…and it is also driven by my love for the Bride of Christ, that I see in so many of my relationships, the natural daughters I have, the “super”-natural daughters  (Antionette, Emily, all the Edes girls) I have…its about empowering women…which is where the Bridegroom is headed by the way…its a no-brainer for a seer to see this…part of this first trip will be about providing housing for women, empowering women is the primary assignment on this trip…it is the first of many…its the widows and the fatherless, the aliens that we are called to, and this is a practical way to do some of that.

And to put a fine edge to it, I have to quote a Beatles lyric…”Today is my birthday, its your birthday too!”

Because you have made connection to me, you have found a door…and through this door you will find that God is:

Your Keeper…He will keep you like a lovers poem close to His heart, He has kept every prayer you’ve ever prayed, every tear you’ve ever cried He is your Keeper.

Your Access: Like Cyrus in Isaiah 45 nothing can stand in your way because He will go before you and cut open the bars of iron, bust the gates of brass, He will touch the small of the back so that Kings and Queens become vulnerable before you and then He will give you the treasures of their darkness, the hidden riches of their secret places…

Your Joy: As in the anointing of gladness above your brethren in Psalm 45…a sword of joy hangs between your shoulder blades, use it and see how wonderful joy is. You don’t need to access joy its yours already…just step into it anytime, all the time.

Your King: Nothing says provision like being in the Kings courts, you have a right to be in those courts and I have discovered they are much different than we have imagined, but they are just as real as the technology that lets you read my thoughts from a thousand miles away, His courts call to you, you have an assignment there and your provision awaits you in that space, not in this space. Your provision from the King is directly related to your identity and assignment, they are all connected and the more intentional you become about WHO you are, the less you will need to think about how its going to get paid for…

These are just some of the ways I have come to know Him, I have walked through that door so many times the threshold is well known to me…but that is really the best part about today…

None of us earn any of this…it comes when He shows up…this door, this portal that has defined who I am since that moment…is not any more or less real than how you came to know Him…my experience is unique, but so is yours, we are all unique because He is so incredible He needs millions of different ways He can reveal Himself so each of us gets our own special name and revelation of Him…each of us gets a door into Him, thats why He created you…He had a place for someone just like you to enter into His love…

And that’s the reason we were all born, that is the design behind why we should celebrate any birthday…we were born to know Him…and to know Him is to love Him…its as natural as blowing out candles on a cake…

So happy birthday to all of us.


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